I had a completely different post planned for “B”, but after my weekend I had to call an audible and switch it up and share my heart.
My recent spiritual walk has been interesting. By recent I mean, the last 3.5 years. And by interesting I mean, challenging to everything I have been studied, methods and philosophy I was taught, etc. I have been through significant ministry and family trauma you could say, career change, two trans-continental moves, and become a mother.
I’m still reeling some days.
Needless to say, so is my relationship with the Lord.
I have certainly embraced my faith at a deeper level, learning to submit to Mason’s leadership as he is the head of our family. I have been challenged to forgive, release judgment, and embrace the truth of the Gospel for myself daily.
Recently I would describe myself as feeling very lost, even struggling with bouts of depression some days because I feel trapped with no escape. No earthly hope to beat the financial debt Mason and I are working to erase, or ultimately to achieve the dreams I believe God has placed in our hearts. There are just some days that I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I have to brag on our church (it’s truly my highlight each week) and I was incredibly challenged by the message Pastor Davey delivered about who Jesus is. We learned about the history of the rabbi and how a disciple of that rabbi would literally walk in their mentor’s footsteps for over a decade. I digested that thought a bit and thought about how I have been “walking” in my relationship with the Lord for 20 years, nearly 21 now. I haven’t always been walking though…I was writing a friend earlier and said, “I am like a small child distracted by some dandelions on the side of the path. Christ is still there, waiting for me to wake up and pay attention to my calling”
After the message Sunday morning we took communion together. One of the Scriptures shared was Matthew 26:28
“for this is my blood, which confirms the covenant between God and his people. It is poured out as a sacrifice to forgive the sins of many.”
In the moment I heard that verse, my spirit was filled with hope. The incredible power of Jesus’ blood IS my hope! No matter my sin, no matter how long I have been dawdling and picking dandelions when I should have been learning from my Savior, He has a covenant love for me!
I have an overwhelming joy through the blood of my Savior.
Check out my A to Z challenge!
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Marla Stanley 
I really enjoyed your transparency and your blog. We have so many “seasons” in our walk with the Lord, don’t we? I am rejoicing in the fact that God used that message to remind you of His unchanging, unconditional love for you. Isn’t it a relief that no matter what, He will never disown us or desert us? That His love for us hinges on His character not ours? I love you Marla and personally am very proud of the young woman you have grown into!
Thank you for the encouragement, Karen!
Blessings,
Marla Stanley
Miprip: Finding Joy
I’m sure there are many, many times that the Lord looks at me as an ADHD follower. Look, a squirrel! And there goes my attention. Thankfully he welcomes me back after every time I wander off because something shiny caught my eye.
He is constant even when we are not! Thanks, TaMara!
Blessings,
Marla Stanley
Miprip: Finding Joy
I am pretty sure I chase that squirrel as well!! I am so glad He is faithful, even when we are not!
I’m sure we all do at times. I hope each of us can look back and see that we were actively on the path more than we were off chasin’ squirrels! Praise Him for His faithfulness!
Wonderful post again this week! SO true! When we focus on our responsibilities, our needs, our debts, etc. we can get so discouraged! When we focus on Jesus and the redeeming power of His blood, we are renewed and hope is restored!!! It sounds like God sent you the right sermon and the right time!!! I love when He does that! He’s got the best timing! 🙂
Yes, incredible timing. There was even more surrounding this moment that I just couldn’t fit in or describe in a single blog post. God is good. 🙂
Blessings,
Marla Stanley
Miprip: Finding Joy
I find myself struggling daily. With difficulties (delays) with our adoption, discouragement creeps in. Discouragement and my attitude that follows is sinful. I take solace in knowing that God understands and forgives my sin (when I turn from it and am not wallowing in it) and I take comfort in the fact that I can turn it all over to God and know that He is in control. Needed a reminder to keep my eyes on Christ and all will be well, according to His will!
Just took a moment to pray for you, Charity! Thank you for sharing!
I am encourage when I know that despite my depression, debt, or dilemmas(I feel a “D” post coming), God is there. He was there when I was crying and caught every tear and put it in a bottle and made note of it in His book. He cares that much! Thanks for sharing!
Love the “D”s! 🙂 Thanks for the affirmation, Sarita!
Blessings,
Marla Stanley
Miprip: Finding Joy