Last week I had my first significant experience with Mom-guilt. If you are a mother, you can probably relate with what I am about to share with you.
See, two weeks ago, on Wednesday, Maddy was acting a little “off”. It wasn’t enough to stand out to me, just small things like asking to go inside and constantly wanting to “sunnel on towch” (snuggle on the couch). The next morning I found that she had vomited at some point during the night. Again, I knew something was off, but without other symptoms of a fever or anything it was hard to tell.
Sure enough, by Friday I was coming down with whatever virus she had started with and by Saturday Mason had it as well. By Monday we were all seemingly on the mend, and while Maddy seemed improved, she still had TERRIBLE symptoms on Wednesday. Wednesday was an errand-running day and we were on our way home to get ready to go out when our poor Little Girl lost everything she had eaten that day in the car. I felt awful and immediately reconsidered our plans for the evening (we had arranged a babysitter and planned to enjoy our anniversary dinner out).
We cleaned Maddy up at home, double checked for a fever, and decided to go ahead with our plans. I immediately began to feel MOM-GUILT for leaving our ill daughter with a babysitter so that we could go out for the evening.
Hmmm…I stopped my train of thought as I was getting changed for my date.
Will my child be well-cared for? Do I trust God to ultimately care for my child better than even I can?
Yes. We had an excellent babysitter who has watched Maddy previously, is completing her EMT training, and who could reach us across town should anything happen.
Will this be detrimental to my child? Do I have my child’s best interest at heart?
No. One evening away for a couple hours, getting to watch Frozen with her babysitter and be in the comfort of her own home is hardly a detriment to my daughter.
Overall, am I making the best choice for our family? Am I being child-focused?
Yes, absolutely. In this circumstance, Mason and I had not had a real “date” since December, AND it was our “Anniversary” date. With the busy-ness of the month of May, we needed to take that couple hours to ourselves. Maddy also needs to know that there will be times in life where God provides other people to take care of her. Mom and Dad will not ALWAYS be there as her only source of comfort.
Next time you have a wave of MOM-GUILT wash over you, I hope that you are able to think through the truth of your situation. God has entrusted your child(ren) to you, and YOU are the BEST Mom for the job of parenting your unique child(ren).