Overwhelmed, I find myself drowning in the unfinished. I feel my feet caught in the net of my expectations, my arms weighed down with to-do’s, as I desperately try to swim through the sea of 2013. The year’s waves are crashing over me as I near the beginning of 2014. Just thinking about everything a new month, a new year bring, fogs my brain and I want to just quit.
Projects always flood my view. As an achiever, I am always reaching, pursuing some new goal. I have to be working on something. I am always so fulfilled when I finish a task. This is something I have to constantly keep “in-balance”.
These final days and moments in the year leave me feeling inferior. I am reminded of the gripping reality that I can’t. I can never do enough in life. I can never do enough to win God’s favor or approval. I fail. The experiences the Lord has led me through in 2013 have taught me anew the extent to which I try to achieve my own place with God.
“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” -Romans 3:23
That verse has been etched in my heart for decades, yet I still have to renew my mind with its’ truth.
Truth that I need help.
Truth that I fail, but that God wins.
Truth that nothing I do of my own will really matters.
Suddenly my feet are freed from the net that had them entwined. My body rushes upwards as my head breaks the plane of the water. My lungs are filled with air, relieving the pressure that was drowning me just moments before.
So here I find myself a few days from the New Year, finding joy in zilch!
Merriam-Webster defines zilch as: “nothing at all”
My heart is light as I allow my Savior, the one whose birth I celebrated just a few days ago, to carry the weight of my sin to the cross. My spirit is lifted as I focus on the truth that I am covered in His shed blood and my Heavenly Father sees me as one of his own redeemed children. I am His!
Happy New Year! May you daily find the true joy of Christ!